more wake up calls

I know Melissa just posted a blog about one of her clients passing away and how it wakes you up to your loved ones, and I just got another one...

One of my friend's little sisters died in a car crash this morning... Father's Day. She was 20.

It simply baffles me when tragedy like this happens. I know that my heart would be shattered if I were to lose my little brother like that, and we're not even close.

I'm so thankful for the people in my life, and wanted you all to know that... also, if you pray, could you add Leigh to your prayer list? Thanks...

On the guilt trip...

I've been guilted into posting... thanks, Drena :)

That was a shocker to see 11 comments today and motivated me to post something b/c I felt so loved! Granted, three of those were my own replies, but who's counting?

How is everyone? I must brag on myself and say that I did a 5K on Monday and placed 9th in my age group (out of 30). Yay me! It was a ball smoker too, man! 9th isn't super great, but it's the top half, and excited me.

I'm officially in mourning tomorrow... Jackson has his last day of "school". He goes to the Goddard School here twice a week so I can get a break, and he can get a break. I use those days to deep clean the house, run errands, get my hair done, take a nap... it all ends tomorrow. Granted, we only have a little over a month here, but I am going to miss those breaks! Good thing is that next week I won't notice b/c we'll be on vacation with Jennifer... we're heading to Williamsburg/Jamestown. Dorks, I know.

Well, I'm hosting book club tomorrow evening for the last time, and I didn't read the book AGAIN! I don't care... I like having the company and wine at the house. It gets lonely for me at night, and I'm always up for "hosting" in the evenings for that one reason.

Okay... so I'm really torn b/w watching "So You Think You Can Dance", and "The Price is Right". I keep switching back and forth. I LOVE dance, so I'm really into that show. I don't really care for the audition phase though b/c it's just sad to me when they show the guys that are just terrible and tear them down. I've watched "The Price is Right" since a kid on summer break. I do like Drew as the host... he's pretty hilarious at times. I actually saw him on my tour in Iraq back in 2003. He didn't impress me then, but I'm sure he was hot, tired, and jet lagged. He's much more impressive on TV. I also met MiMi, and she was a rather homely looking woman. I like her better with the make-up.

Meghan... I have a "mom" question... Jackson is going through this phase of getting super pissed off and then banging his head on whatever while he's throwing his tantrum. He actually has a bruise forming on his forehead from constantly hitting it on the wall, floor, fridge, the gate outside... people are going to start thinking that I'm abusing my child! He's also started hitting (he's 19mo)... which I can usually control with time-out/discussion/or a pop on the hand or leg. It all depends on my patience when he does the deed... Got any suggestions?

Worst Blogger Ever!

So... it's official... I am the worst blogger EVER! I started out strong, but I just keep tapering off! I don't mean to, but by the end of the day, I barely make it to check my email. Jackson has just worn me out for the morning/day/night! Sheesh... being a single mom (geographically speaking) is NO JOKE! I mean... I haven't even checked out Mel's new blog yet! Shame on me! Sorry Mel...

I want to say that I'm going to be better and that I'll begin blogging as if my life depended on it, but I won't lie to you guys. I'll try my best, but with our move coming up and trying to take care of Army business... I'm beginning to suck big time!

Anyhoo... I'm watching the Bachelorette tonight. What do you guys think of the Newnan girl? I have family from Newnan that are "friends" with her, and they don't have very nice things to say about her. I didn't really like her on the Bachelor. I felt like she was very rude and kind of mean. I guess she just knew what she wanted? I don't know... I must admit that she's a very pretty girl... but hey, she's from GA!

I don't think that I buy into this whole reality tv love stuff. But hee... love is everywhere, right? I'm hoping that a couple of these guys get into a fight or something to spice up the show!

Good Day

Had a good day today! Didn't do much, but was good nonetheless. Went to the gym and had a great shoulder workout (I'll email it to you Melissa), and then took a nap. Yes, I took a nap. Beautiful! Did some grocery shopping and took Jackson to the new playground down the street. We had a yummy dinner, and now we're going to take a bath and get ready for bed. Nothing special.

I did get a snobby look from some chic at the gym today. She kind of looked me up and down and turned her nose up to me. I took it as a compliment. I must be looking damn good to be getting snobby looks! ;)

Plan on running again tomorrow. I'm only ten pds away from my goal weight... yippee!! I got up to 214 when I was pregnant (holy shit, I know), and am at 153 right now. My goal is 145. Anything under that and I start to look kind of sickly. I'm excited about training for a marathon, and I was given advice that I should get to my "goal weight" b/f doing so b/c very few people actually lose weight training for a marathon. So... I'm trying, man!

Jackson just discovered that light bulbs are hot. We have little attic storage doors in our bonus room that he goes into and uses as his secret room. Well, he just came to me saying "hot, hot, hot" and holding up his little hand. I'm guessing that he touched the light bulb. I kissed it, and all is well!

Happy Mother's Day to me!

Well, it's Mother's Day, and the day you're suppose to feel the most appreciated, I felt very un-appreciated! Hmph! Just one of those downer days. Jackson decided to act out the terrible two's a few times, and I tried out this newfound attitude of his at a restaurant... BIG mistake. All is well though b/c he gave me good kisses and hugs before bed, and even better, he went down without a peep or protest! He knew Mommy needed a break.

Talked to Chris. He's well. I was slightly icy with him b/c he didn't get me anything. Granted, he's in Iraq, so I tried to be understanding, but you can't hide those deep down disappointment feelings. He said he sent a card, but no such luck yet. I feel bad for being so standoffish to him, but he'll get over it. Always does! ;)

Had a crazy week. My mom came to visit for a couple of days. That was nice, but I was ready for her to go when she finally went. Visited the MIL yesterday (Mother In Law), and that was good. Saw my Grandma today. I think I've been visiting too many people! I'm kind of a "private" person, and too much socializing can put me in a foul mood. Pitiful!

I'm really looking forward to getting back into my normal routine tomorrow. Hoping that it gets me out of this rut. I hate feeling like all of my posts are so damn depressing! I did run 4.5 miles on Thursday... that's something not so depressing. Proud of myself... trying to get my long run up to 9 miles once a week. We shall see...

Now... back to Mary Poppins!

To be materialistic, or not?

I think I'm getting sick sitting here watching "House Hunters". It's ridiculous the house that this couple just bought. No kids, just three dogs. It's over 5K sq ft! I mean, seriously! Just makes me sick. What's even worse is that half the time I want that type of house for myself! I fight with this quite a bit. I mean... I am BLESSED. Truly. I have a wonderful husband (most of the time) that REALLY loves me for me, and a beautiful baby boy that I simply adore. I have a beautiful house that is too big for me and little man, and drive a "luxury" SUV (it's the Volvo XC90), that I traded in my BMW X5 for, and can go out and buy whatever suits my fancy, really. What's sad is that I miss my Bimmer and Chris has promised me another in three years... I don't need another damn X5! What is wrong with me?? I used to be poor as dirt... literally... and didn't buy a piece of clothing over $10... now... I shop at BR and Ann Taylor and Nordstrom... ridiculous. I over pay for clothes that are probably sewn together by third world children! I'm even a food snob! Heaven forbid I shop at anywhere besides Publix, who is DEFINITELY over priced... even if they do take your groceries to the car and ask you how you are!

I mean... I'm charitable or whatever. I constantly give to the battered women's shelter b/c of my background, and am big on donating to children's charities, but I just can't seem to escape this constant need to have the next new thing. It all seems like a rat race. What's worse... I LIKE having the nice things! I WANT the nice name brand things! I think about this quite often. Do I do anything about it... not really. I still go out and buy more crap. I've been trying to find a better way to give back. I just have to find something that moves me and isn't just a fling. I do know that I want to help people, and let them know that you are never stuck in whatever situation you might currently feel as though you are stuck. I want to give people HOPE. Hope is huge for me. Not to sound like an after school special, but hope is what got me through my childhood. I've started the process of teaching in underprivileged schools in HI, but really, do they have "projects" in HI? We'll see... I've even considered mentoring to abused mothers and children to let them know that you can move past this and become successful... I am living proof.

I'm not trying to preach, or even change myself... I just decided to write out my thoughts that bulldozed from a couple on House Hunters. There are days where I think about trading in the SUV for a hybrid, joining the peace corp, and think of donating all my furniture... then a neighbor comes over with a new top, and it's on!

Missing Chris

I am REALLY missing Chris today. The morning was great. Had a great leg workout at the gym, showered, and now little man is playing in the yard. But my agent from Hawaii called and asked how things are moving on this end, and I just started to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I just feel so alone sometimes. We are really fine if the house sells or not, but I feel like owning in Hawaii is a better investment than owning in Georgia. Of course, we could try to do both places, but that seems a little scary. And my agent here has been of no use. I guess I need to call her today and express my concerns. I just feel like it's all on my shoulders. I'm thinking we might need to lower the price of the house. I don't know. And that's the shitty part... I don't know, and I can't just call Chris to ask. There are times where I don't hear from him for days. Hence, the alone feeling. I know it's not HIS fault. I tell you what, it is a hell of a lot easier being there than here. So much easier. I'm trying to stay positive, and not let it bring me down. At least there's Bon Jovi...